Ezra Houser
Young People's Press

Telling young people to behave or punishing those who don't is not the best approach to dealing with violence, say youth workers.

Natisha Ryner, 20, works for Violence Overcome In Creative Ensemble (VOICE). "It's better talking to youth on the same level. Youth talking to youth has a greater impact," she says.

When Ryner and other youth leaders sit down with young people, they make sure they don't do all the talking. "We not only give kids ideas and talk about non-violence, but we encourage their ideas and what they think about violence - and changes that they want," she says. "We incorporate their ideas and teach them at the same time."

Katherine Marielle, director of VOICE, explains: "At-risk youth need to be given just a bit of encouragement to say, 'You know what? Violence sucks - I don't want to have anything to do with violence.' They need to be given permission to say, 'I don't think that violence is cool.'"

VOICE has encouraged young people to create art, music and other forms of creative expression both as a way to process feelings and emotions and as a vehicle to share their views. When young people are given the chance to "speak out," says Marielle, "it's amazing what comes bursting out of them. Their hearts are filled with non-violence."

Youth Assisting Youth is another organization implementing proactive solutions to violence. Since the program started in 1976, 98 per cent of all youth participants, including many high-risk ones, have stayed out of trouble with the law.

The organization's approach is to partner at-risk youth - kids whose background makes them more likely to become violent offenders or who have serious difficulty adjusting to society - with older mentors who are screened to ensure that they can be responsible and committed.

Selwyn Thorpe, 25, has been a Youth Assisting Youth senior partner to one boy for four years. "I've noticed that sometimes I want to say, 'Don't do this,' or 'Don't be this way,' but I find myself drawing back, because it's really not my place to tell him what to do," he remarks. "The best way is just to show by example what I think."

Not all youth are drawn to creative anti-violence programs such as VOICE or mentoring programs such as Youth Assisting Youth, but many other programs serve to address the same needs.

Sunni works at Gateway Café on the Danforth and Coxwell Ave., helping other youth find jobs. He was hired even though he has been in trouble with the law and still has court cases pending. Sunni says many youth form their values based on the limited experiences they have in negative environments.

"A lot of people come from broken families, where the dad beats up the mom, and there's a lot of family violence. So they're brought up with it and it's like the only way that they know how to deal with a problem," he says. "A lot of criminals I met when I was in jail come from families where there's no encouragement given to the kids…and they seem to use the negative examples they got as an excuse for their own violent behaviour."

According to Gateway co-ordinator Diane Gatti, "Our clients are here an average of three or four months before we can get to the job interview stage, because we need to work through a number of different things." Gateway staff have helped more than 400 at-risk youth find full-time employment in the last two years. They know that youth see the hypocrisy of a society filled with problems, which nevertheless demands that they conform to standard behaviour, simply because they've been told to."

Given the chance to work through their own feelings in a supportive and respectful environment, young people overwhelmingly express a desire to follow a positive example.

Ezra Houser is 23 years old.

RESOURCES FOR STOPPING VIOLENCE

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As I walk down the hallways of my school, past friends and classmates, I often ponder the question: "Can they be trusted?"

The scary answer is: "Who knows?"

I remember when the worst thing that would happen in high school was getting teased about your clothes, intelligence level, or lack of popularity. Yes, that was cruel. But things are getting worse.

I've learned that kids don't just tease anymore. Teasing has turned violent.

Students should feel safe in school, not fearful. Yet nearly every week I hear more horrifying stories about teen violence, about students being swarmed, held hostage or even killed by fellow classmates.

I ask myself why this is happening.

Reporters, psychologists and educational authorities say that much of the violence - at least in the U.S. - is a result of easy access to weapons. I don't agree.

The problem is not the number of guns being sold; it's that we live in a violent society. If you take the guns away, students will get bats. And if you take the bats away, they'll find knives. My point is that eventually the violence will show itself in some form.

The media, especially the entertainment industry, has exposed my generation to an enormous amount of violence. And the more violence we are exposed to, the less it effects us. We are becoming desensitized.

Hollywood's message is not that violence is wrong, but that it's the very height of "cool".

Take The Basketball Diaries, which stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a disturbed young man named Jim Carroll. In one scene, Carroll dreams about barging into his classroom and shooting his fellow classmates.

This scene did not affect me in a negative way. It certainly didn't make me want to act out violently. That's because I can differentiate between fantasy and reality. But not everyone's grasp on reality is as solid. Some individuals, especially those who look up to DiCaprio as a role model, might be horribly affected by watching such a scene.

In an ideal world, young people would not look to movie stars for guidance, but to their parents. Unfortunately, parents are not always there for their children. And when they don't get involved in their children's lives, these children will try to find attention elsewhere. They want to fill the emptiness they feel.

Parents should be more aware of their children's interests and activities. They should ask them about what they are doing at school and about whom they are hanging out with. Even if parents are working extremely hard to make ends meet, they still need to make time to listen, to understand, and most of all to love.

If parents show that they care, it won't matter as much if a child is not "Mr. or Ms. Popular." Because when that young person gets home, a loving family will surround him or her.

Then, they will learn to love themselves. And when people value and feel secure about themselves, they learn to value and love others, too.

For the violence to end, we need to accept one another.

I may not be the most popular girl in my high school. But my parents have taught me that popularity is not what makes a person who she is. Love, compassion, morals and values are what define a person.

We should make everyone feel welcome. If only we could realize that every person has unique feelings and needs, massacres like the one at Columbine High wouldn't happen so often.

When I heard the report of the killings in Littleton, Colorado, I was disgusted. It was a tragedy that could have been prevented if we as a society had been a little more considerate.

I pray that someday people will become more aware of the effects that their actions have on those around them.

Negin Chelehmalzadeh is 16 years old.